A Mothers Day Tribute
Before you read any further I want to make it clear about a
couple of things.
First, there’s nothing for sale in this post.
Second, this is very personal to me. You’ll understand if you
decide to continue reading.
So if you’re expecting a marketing message, or don’t want to
read anything about my personal life, then please go ahead
and close this window now. I’ll understand.
Otherwise… let’s roll.
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When I was 11 years old, my mother and father split up. It was
friendly, but my dad back then was a bit of a deadbeat. There
was my mother, left to support 4 kids mainly on her own.
We went on welfare in the beginning because my mother was a
homemaker for 12 years by this point. And let me tell you, she
HATED being on welfare.
She got a job as a dishwasher at a fancy restaurant that we
lived near. Which was good, because we had no car, so she could
walk there.
Soon after, she bought a car (not a great one either…) and
found a job waitressing at a nearby diner. She soon discovered
that the best tips were dinner until closing (2 AM) and Sunday
morning breakfast hours. Needless to say, she needed the best
paying hours.
So for the next several years she worked as a dishwasher and
cleaner for the restaurant during the day, then waitressed at
night. She was tireless. Up at 6 am, go to the restaurant and
clean it for the lunchtime opening.
Go home at 8 am and nap.
Go in at 11 am for dishwashing duties until 2 PM. Go home and
get set for the diner. We would get home from school at 3:15 PM.
She left for work at 3:30. On most days she even managed to
start dinner for us with instructions on what to do to finish it.
Oh, and on her night off, she took a job cleaning a doctors
office.
We were off welfare within a year, never to go back on.
But times were tough. They were always tough. We didn’t have
much in the way of material posessions, but we always had food,
clothing, needed items and a home to live in (a three bedroom
apartment for her and four kids).
Sounds tough, and at times it was. But I have to admit… my
mother NEVER complained to us kids. Never. She understood that
this is what she needed to be doing - raising her kids.
She taught us all to be self sufficient. To depend on ourselves
as well as each other. To look out for one another. And here,
some 31 years later, us four “kids” are all still very close.
Thanks to my mother.
I didn’t say this as much as I should have, but she was my
hero. My tower of strength. My idol. She is responsible for
my being the kind of parent that I am. She is responsible for
the size of my heart.
Three years ago she had a stroke. She spent two weeks in
intensive care and we didn’t know if she would survive. But
she fought. And she won. She would lose her independence,
some mobility and a small bit of attention span, but she still
had her heart, her spirit, and she still never complained.
Still my hero.
On February 12th of this year, after being put in the hospital
for a fall that broke her arm, we found out she had stage 4
lung cancer. It had spread to her liver and her spine. She was
in a lot of pain.
She didn’t complain.
We came together as a family and found the best place to get
her treatment. Mostly for pain, as she was too far advanced
for anything more. The doctors told us anywhere from 2 to 12
months.
Then, another fall. A broken hip. Another hospital stay. She was
still in a cast for her broken arm. My heart was breaking for
all the suffering she was enduring.
But she didn’t complain.
She needed surgery to repair her hip. She was scheduled for
March 15th - her birthday. She turned 64 on that day.
We spoke before her surgery. She signed a “Do Not Resuscitate”
order. My brother was there too.
She went into surgery, which lasted a few hours with recovery.
I sent my brother home (he works nights and was sleeping in the
waiting room).
After her surgery, I went to her room. She was already alert
and looking for food and something to drink. I saw this as a
good sign.
We talked for a while. Her brother called and they spoke. A
short while later her sister called and they spoke. She was
in good spirits now.
We sat and we spoke a bit, and we watched some TV quietly.
She ate a few spoons of jello from her dinner tray. We
held hands for a bit and I wished her a happy birthday.
I turned around to change the channel on the television for her.
She had a heart attack. She had a DNR. And at 6:15 PM on the
day of her birth, she passed.
My hero was gone.
But also, her pain was gone. She was spared the advanced pain
from the cancer that she was facing. She was home.
After the funeral my sister spoke to her Oncologist. We learned
that my mother was diagnosed in November 06. Months before we
found out. She didn’t want to put a damper on the coming
holidays. She wanted us to be happy.
That was my mother.
She never complained.
She’s gone now, but she will live in my thoughts, and my heart
until the day I die. I feel blessed that I was able to be there
in her final moments. I feel blessed that she was my mother.
She made me who I am and for that I am thankful.
She will always be my inspiration.
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If you’re still here, thanks for reading. If your mother is
still walking this earth, go now and wish her a happy mother’s
day. Give her a hug and a kiss and thank her.
And finally, if you are a mother, then I wish you a very
happy mothers day too.
Michael Ambrosio
MrOverDeliver
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