A Mothers Day Tribute
couple of things.
First, there’s nothing for sale in this post.
Second, this is very personal to me. You’ll understand if you
decide to continue reading.
So if you’re expecting a marketing message, or don’t want to
read anything about my personal life, then please go ahead
and close this window now. I’ll understand.
Otherwise… let’s roll.
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When I was 11 years old, my mother and father split up. It was
friendly, but my dad back then was a bit of a deadbeat. There
was my mother, left to support 4 kids mainly on her own.
We went on welfare in the beginning because my mother was a
homemaker for 12 years by this point. And let me tell you, she
HATED being on welfare.
She got a job as a dishwasher at a fancy restaurant that we
lived near. Which was good, because we had no car, so she could
walk there.
Soon after, she bought a car (not a great one either…) and
found a job waitressing at a nearby diner. She soon discovered
that the best tips were dinner until closing (2 AM) and Sunday
morning breakfast hours. Needless to say, she needed the best
paying hours.
So for the next several years she worked as a dishwasher and
cleaner for the restaurant during the day, then waitressed at
night. She was tireless. Up at 6 am, go to the restaurant and
clean it for the lunchtime opening.
Go home at 8 am and nap.
Go in at 11 am for dishwashing duties until 2 PM. Go home and
get set for the diner. We would get home from school at 3:15 PM.
She left for work at 3:30. On most days she even managed to
start dinner for us with instructions on what to do to finish it.
Oh, and on her night off, she took a job cleaning a doctors
office.
We were off welfare within a year, never to go back on.
But times were tough. They were always tough. We didn’t have
much in the way of material posessions, but we always had food,
clothing, needed items and a home to live in (a three bedroom
apartment for her and four kids).
Sounds tough, and at times it was. But I have to admit… my
mother NEVER complained to us kids. Never. She understood that
this is what she needed to be doing - raising her kids.
She taught us all to be self sufficient. To depend on ourselves
as well as each other. To look out for one another. And here,
some 31 years later, us four “kids” are all still very close.
Thanks to my mother.
I didn’t say this as much as I should have, but she was my
hero. My tower of strength. My idol. She is responsible for
my being the kind of parent that I am. She is responsible for
the size of my heart.
Three years ago she had a stroke. She spent two weeks in
intensive care and we didn’t know if she would survive. But
she fought. And she won. She would lose her independence,
some mobility and a small bit of attention span, but she still
had her heart, her spirit, and she still never complained.
Still my hero.
On February 12th of this year, after being put in the hospital
for a fall that broke her arm, we found out she had stage 4
lung cancer. It had spread to her liver and her spine. She was
in a lot of pain.
She didn’t complain.
We came together as a family and found the best place to get
her treatment. Mostly for pain, as she was too far advanced
for anything more. The doctors told us anywhere from 2 to 12
months.
Then, another fall. A broken hip. Another hospital stay. She was
still in a cast for her broken arm. My heart was breaking for
all the suffering she was enduring.
But she didn’t complain.
She needed surgery to repair her hip. She was scheduled for
March 15th - her birthday. She turned 64 on that day.
We spoke before her surgery. She signed a “Do Not Resuscitate”
order. My brother was there too.
She went into surgery, which lasted a few hours with recovery.
I sent my brother home (he works nights and was sleeping in the
waiting room).
After her surgery, I went to her room. She was already alert
and looking for food and something to drink. I saw this as a
good sign.
We talked for a while. Her brother called and they spoke. A
short while later her sister called and they spoke. She was
in good spirits now.
We sat and we spoke a bit, and we watched some TV quietly.
She ate a few spoons of jello from her dinner tray. We
held hands for a bit and I wished her a happy birthday.
I turned around to change the channel on the television for her.
She had a heart attack. She had a DNR. And at 6:15 PM on the
day of her birth, she passed.
My hero was gone.
But also, her pain was gone. She was spared the advanced pain
from the cancer that she was facing. She was home.
After the funeral my sister spoke to her Oncologist. We learned
that my mother was diagnosed in November 06. Months before we
found out. She didn’t want to put a damper on the coming
holidays. She wanted us to be happy.
That was my mother.
She never complained.
She’s gone now, but she will live in my thoughts, and my heart
until the day I die. I feel blessed that I was able to be there
in her final moments. I feel blessed that she was my mother.
She made me who I am and for that I am thankful.
She will always be my inspiration.
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If you’re still here, thanks for reading. If your mother is
still walking this earth, go now and wish her a happy mother’s
day. Give her a hug and a kiss and thank her.
And finally, if you are a mother, then I wish you a very
happy mothers day too.
Michael Ambrosio
MrOverDeliver
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May 13th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Awesome post, Mikey.
May 13th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Hey that was very touching. Internet marketers do have a life outside the internet. My mom passed on 20+ years now but if your mom is still living make sure you tell her you love her and thank her as well as a big fat hug.
May 13th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Dear Mike,
I cannot wish my mother a good Mother’s Day. She is still alive but she is living in an extended care living facility and has a poor memory now. She cannot use the phone anymore. Thank God my oldest sister and niece are able to visit her and keep her remembering all of us. She lived in her own house till she was 100 and was full of life right up till her 101st birthday. She is a different person in some ways now and at a 102 she is still able to enjoy some simple things from her wheel chair. However my sister says one can still see a lot of her old self.
All my life; right up till she turned 100 my Mother was my shining beacon and it is only because of her that I have the morals and ethics I have today. She was a good parent, a wonderful friend, and a really spiritual person.
All I can say is Thank God for my Mother.
May 13th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Mike,
Very touching and and as Pam states an “Awesome Post”.
Having missed my mother’s passing by a day, due to being interstate at the wrong time, your message covers all of the love and total respect that all mothers should receive.
Love and wishes to all of the mothers.
May 13th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Hi Mike,
You have no idea this post will touch how many lives out there.. me neither.. but I’m sure it does blessed my heart. Thanks for sharing Mike. Awesome
May 13th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Mike,
First off I’d like to say thank you for a very well written tribute to your Mother on Mother’s Day.
It is my pleasure to say that your Mother did an excellent job raising you.
You are a treasure as a friend and partner.
No words can express how my family and I value our friendship.
Strong and powerful wishes from us all here.
Take Care My Friend.
Sincerely,
Richard Driver
May 13th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
all I can tell you is thank you for sharing.
you must be proud been who you are I’m sure of it. God bless You.
May 14th, 2007 at 1:41 am
Mike,
Thanks for such a moving post. Yes, you can be proud of your mom, and she was proud of you. My mom passed almost 36 years ago. I was just a teenager. She was in the hospital for double walking pneumonia - pretty bad. She was allergic to the medications that were normally given and was responding slowly to the one she could take. That evening, a Wednesday, my dad and I went to the hospital before going to prayer & Bible study. I will never forget her words. “You go on. You go. I’ll be ok. I’ll see you in the morning.” Little did I know or understand the full depth of her words until years later. You see, my mom passed the next morning. It’s like she knew that it was the last time I or my dad would see her on this earth. Sometimes I can feel her nearby, or hear her voice in my mind. And it’s just at the times when I really need the encouragement to “go on”.
Thanks for sharing with us. And thanks for letting me share a bit as well. As we each in our own little way take something from these bits of sharing, may we go on to the greatness our mothers desired for us.
Julia (LadyJR)
www.ladyjr.com
May 14th, 2007 at 1:55 am
This was so beautiful and reminiscent of my own journey with my mother at the end.
Thank you so much for sharing.
May 14th, 2007 at 2:15 am
My Mom is the most important woman in my life and I greatly appreciate your story bro!
Ross
May 14th, 2007 at 3:47 am
I am so sorry for your loss. Think of your Mom everyday, and you will find some comfort in your memories, although you will always wish that she was still here, no matter how much time passes.
May 14th, 2007 at 4:10 am
Hi Michael, Thanks for sharing.
I know that must have been incredibly difficult for you. I lost my mother December 27 ‘06 - a few months ago - to lung cancer. So be very grateful that you didn’t watch your mother go through the late stages.
It was heartbreaking to watch my mother lose her memory and all her facilties. In the end she didn’t even remember my brother who died thirty years ago, and couldn’t recognise my sister and I. Like you, we are a very close family, and it was incredibly difficult to watch her struggle over a period of about six months. From day of diagnosis til day of death was little more than ten months.
Our dad also died from lung cancer. It’s a horrific disease, as I’m sure you know.
Please everyone reading this - DO NOT SMOKE. It will not only kill you, but will put your kids and family through hell. One they’ll never forget for the rest of their lives.
Cheryl
May 17th, 2007 at 7:32 am
My dearest brother, my Father, My Dad, And mentor,
im crying as i write this, i’ll never forget you for what you did!!! Give Mom a life she deserves!! I never knew, she knew, she had cancer in November!!!But i guess im glad i didn’t, Cause i had the BEST time with her on Thanksgiving!! We laughed allll night, i colored her hair, i TRIED to cook for her and make her dinner special ( what a joke ) and we stayed up until 3:00am and laughed all night, and remeniced, about Sheri, Chris, me, and of corse, her back bone, YOU!!! MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The one she DEPENDED ON!!! YOU!!!All the way till the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU!!!!I still can’t thank you enough!!!The decision you had to make, still amazes me:)!! You gave her the life she deserves….I know she’s happier, then she’s ever been before( not including giving birth to us )..:)Thats how i know why i was happy on Mothers Day.. she was not suffering… of corse i WISH she were here, but not the way she was!!!!The way i want to remember her, HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)Mike, You gave us the best gift ever,,, Moms happinest!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 YOUR THE BEST!!! I Love You, Always and 4 ever:) Thanks my brother, my father, my dad and mentor:) Love, your best(no just kidding)Love, your little sister, Sandy
May 18th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Your Mom was a fantastic woman and I’m so privilaged to have known her. I’m sorry her grandchildren will not have her with them as they are growing up.
She made a lot of sacrifices raising four children with no help from their father. Life deals some bad cards . . . .her older years should not have given her the pain she swent through. We will all miss your mom very much.
May 24th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Mike, It’s easy to see that all in your family look up to you and admire what you did for your Mom. Especially on her last day. You hung in there with her and she stayed as long as she could and waited til you turned around before she let go–with grace and dignity, as always. After her first fall, when she was in the first nursing home and Sheri & I went to visit her, I could see by the look on her face that she was in terrible pain. When Sheri & I left,and I kissed Mom good-bye, I told her I loved her and she asked me to take care of her ‘kids’. Now, she and I both knew she was saying good-by to me, but even that was dignified, no complaining. It was hard to get her on the phone after that as she was in rehab. But I know she was happy to be back in New Milford where she could have all of you visit more often–as I’m sure she knew she would be leaving us soon. When I spoke to her on the 15th around 6:00 p.m., I told her I loved her, and I wished her a happy birthday, and she wished me one right back as AGAIN she knew she would not be with us. What a woman!!!!! She is my idol, although sibling rivalry prevented me from realizing it until we both had families and could see that this dynamic was quite normal—but what did we know about “normal”???? I want you to know that the 4 of you were wonderful, especially towards the end and I will always consider you all my kids. Remember to love each other, believe in each other, and support each other always. God has been very good to you—he gave you Arleen as a Mother. And He was good to me as he gave me Arleen as a big sister and I will be eternally grateful for that privilege. I love you all. Please keep in touch.
May 30th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
My Dearest brothers Mike & Chris, and My baby sister Sandy: God!! you guys are my world! I don’t ever want to know what my life would be with out you all in it. Mike, I am so proud of you for what you did for mom. You knew, and didnt leave her. You stayed by her side. I will be eternally grateful to you for that. She wasn’t alone when she died, although she triied to be you wouldn’t let her. She was a beautiful woman with a heart of gold. She gave much of her life and her self to us, like you said and never complained. She raised us with very little in the way of money, but always kept a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs and much love in our hearts. That was the one thing we never ran out of “Love”. We learned it well, from the best. I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life, but I am thankful and blessed that she was and always will be our mother. I know when she past, she left knowing that our love for her is never ending, just like we know her love for us was and is never ending. Mom is and always will be my heart. I love you guys always. Love You Big Sister Sheri